


Don't Feed the Plants

by timelxrd-victorious (Brambleshadow_of_WindClan)



Series: The Time Lord Victorious: Nightbane [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cerulean Revolution, Crack, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:52:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6442327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brambleshadow_of_WindClan/pseuds/timelxrd-victorious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's plants in the TARDIS. Teine, the dark alternate Tenth Doctor,  finds out, and is not amused in the slightest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Feed the Plants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightsangelinthetardis](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=nightsangelinthetardis).



> Complete and total crack!fic. Not meant to be taken seriously.
> 
> Co-written with and for [nightsangelinthetardis](http://nightsangelinthetardis.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Inspired by the [Cerulean Revolution](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/cerulean-revolution) tag on Tumblr.
> 
> A note on characters: The Doctor that appears in this fic is my AU Dark!Ten muse, whom I and my other RP partners refer to as Teine. He's got his own Tumblr blog [here](http://timelxrd-victorious.tumblr.com/), in case you want to read up on him and/or discover what he's up to when I'm not writing fics about him. Anj, which is a nickname for Anjelika, is an OC Nightbane muse played by NightsAngelintheTARDIS. Their relationship is a complicated one, which I'm not going to go into detail on here, but to make a long story short she now travels with Teine in his TARDIS.
> 
> This fic started out as a joke side-thread between the two of us, and we decided it needed to be turned into a drabble. So, here you go.
> 
> Another note: If you're not familiar with the _Doctor Who_ EU and the Tumblr Classic Who fandom, then I apologize if you're extremely confused. If you _are_ familiar with either fandom, then hopefully you'll understand the joke.

The Doctor had _meant_ to go to the drawing room, but somehow his Ship has directed him somewhere else. He’s opened the door to what he’d thought was the drawing room, taken one look inside, and recoiled in horror at the sight of the green, leafy _things_ surrounding the floor. Cautiously, he steps inside, and yelps in shock as feelers brush against his clothing and what little bit of skin is showing.

Anj hears him yelling in fear and comes running. “What’s wrong?! Are you alright?”

“No! There’s _plants_ all over this room! Why are there plants in _my_ TARDIS?!” Teine grimaces in disgust and shies back.

Anj blinks. “They’re herbs, Teine. I cook with them. You…you didn’t eat food… _bland_ before….did you?”

Teine stiffens. “Well… no… but… I’m Prydonian, not Cerulean. And besides, plants are deadly! They can’t be trusted!”

Anj looks at Teine like he really has lost his shit. “Teine, honey, they’re just plants. I promise you none of the one’s in here have any intention of eating you.”

Teine eyes both her and the plants suspiciously. “How do you know?” He edges back against Anj. “They’re the one thing on Gallifrey that wasn’t telepathic. Only the Ceruleans were crazy enough to go outside the Citadel. They took their Loomlings outside! They _touched_ plants! And trees! Rassilon knows what sort of diseases they might have picked up!”

“Well, I’ll start with these come from Earth. Second, as they are Earth plants, and I have been working with these particular set of plants for the better part of my life and am still alive, I’d say we’re safe.” She slowly eases him out of the room.

He allows himself to be led out of the room, glaring with narrowed eyes at the plants. The Ceruleans have gotten to her: that’s the only explanation for this sudden infestation. 

Besides, he’s seen _Little Shop of Horrors_ —he _knows_ how this is going to turn out.


End file.
